The Five Stages of Grief: FURY

 
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Fury

Yeah. I know. It’s actually “anger”. You’ll understand.

Let me tell you a story about Monday…

Jed peed in his riding toy. It leaked all over the floor, of course.

Before that, he head butted me in the face making my eye sore and tender.

I decided to eat a little onion and garlic in my lunch, and proved that I’m even more fructose sensitive than I thought. My tummy troubled me the rest of the day.

At lunchtime, Jed didn’t like the stuffed peppers he’d wolfed down at dinner the previous night. In the end I had to make a second lunch for him in order to get him to eat.

All of that is pretty normal for a day in our household, actually. Certainly nothing to get furious about.

Here’s where the fury starts to make sense:

First thing in the morning, Zac had a “clean” diaper. Finally!

When I reported that to Darrel, he insisted we give Zac some Alimentum to re-trial.

Now, I wasn’t quite ready to re-trial the Alimentum. I wanted to wait a day or two to make sure he was REALLY at baseline. Darrel, though, was insistent. He’s watching me nurse Zac up to 19 times per day; sometimes 7 total hours of nursing per day! He’s watching me get more and more tired from the lack of sleep and the interrupted sleep. He’s watching his son get older but not bigger. He’s watching his son desperate to eat something.

So he didn’t want to wait.

And, since all of those are true, factual, and very good points, I went with Darrel’s decision and gave Zac a sippy cup with 8 ounces of Alimentum RTF. 

He was ecstatic! Sucked that cup down in no time flat with a grin on his face the whole time!

80 minutes later, we had a poop. It was…okay looking. I tested it for blood and the test was confusing.

Our stool tests turn bright blue with the presence of blood. Lately, they’ve been sort of a bluish-green. Green sometimes indicates bile in the stool. I don’t know exactly what bluish-green means.

I call it a positive for blood. Darrel calls it a negative. So I write it down as “blood?” when I journal the test results.

This was a bluish-green colored test result.

Hmm.

Not 20 minutes later, another poop.

This one was solid, gelatinous mucous with visible blood. Now, I say “visible blood”, but honestly, most people would have looked at it and seen nothing odd, except for the mucous, of course. But I have lots of practice at looking at these diapers and I spotted the signs of blood.

Still, I tested it.

BRIGHT FREAKING BLUE.

No confusion. Clear as a bell.

BLUE.

BLOOD.

(Bad words bad words bad words bad words)

Still, no fury! I handled it fairly well. No histrionics, no gnashing of teeth, no severe reactions of any sort. Just…”Well, crap.”

Without a formula, I am almost certainly not going to be able to return to work. Without a formula, Zac is going to continue to struggle with weight and growth.

Without a formula, we’re screwed. 

But I just hugged Zac, told Darrel the unfortunate news, and dumped the remaining Alimentum down the sink.

The rest of the day, Zac was Cranky Baby. He didn’t want to nap. Then he really wanted to nap NOW! He wanted to be held. He wanted down. Nothing made him happy for long, and this is a child whose nickname is “Mr. Happy”. Very  out of sorts for him.

By mid-afternoon, he’d started coughing. By late afternoon, he had a runny nose.

Seriously? On top of everything else, he apparently decided to get Jed’s cold – the one Jed himself is finally getting over!

UGH!

Then the bad thing happened. 

I nursed Zac on the couch, as usual, and managed to doze off while doing so. (Did I mention 19 nursings a day? That’s middle of the night, y’all.)

While I was sleeping, Jed went into the office. He left the door wide open behind him.

The cats decided to “leave a present” on the floor for us.

Zac ate the cat poop. Again.

When I woke up, twenty minutes after my last recollection, Zac greeted me with a face covered in cat poop…and I LOST MY FRIGGIN’ MIND.

I went straight past anger, right into FURIOUS.

FURIOUS!

I was absolutely furious at Darrel for pushing us into a trial I wasn’t ready for. (Never mind that he had good reasons for insisting on it, and that if I’d been really uncomfortable I would have refused.)

I was absolutely furious at Jed for going into the office, a direct disobedience since he knows he’s not allowed in there. (Never mind that he’s THREE and Mama fell asleep.)

Worst of all, I was furious at ZAC for so desperately wanting to eat that he’ll eat any-damn-thing-he-can-get. (Never mind that wanting to eat is, you know, normal for human beings and that he’s just a baby that lives his life constantly hungry.)

How sick was my fury? How much more irrational could I have been?

Very sick. And, not much more irrational at all. 

I seriously lost my mind in The Fury. 

Fortunately, I wasn’t furious for long. After about an hour of being so livid I could hardly function, I sent a message to a friend online. After telling the story to her, and hearing her commiserating responses, my fury faded away.

Logic and Love will win out over Fury every time, doncha know?

And logically, there was no reason to be furious at any of the people who attracted my fury. And the people who attracted my fury? Are the people I love most in the world. 

So I issued apologies all around (Darrel didn’t even realize I’d been furious at him until I apologized!), gave lots of hugs, and spent the rest of the evening tottering between Depression and Acceptance.

The 5 stages of grief are valid, but they don’t come in a neat, tidy little line like a “To Do” list that must be checked off. 

No, they hop around and blindside you at inopportune times when you least expect it.

This isn’t a pleasant story to share; it doesn’t make me look very good, after all.

I shared it because, if you’re the parent of a child with any sort of special need that makes you live on the edge – or over the edge – of “normal”, you will likely experience something like this on occasion.

So I wanted to share this to let you know: it’s okay.

It’s not pretty. It’s not nice. But it’s okay.

There’s nothing wrong with occasionally getting FURIOUS at the hand life has dealt you and your children. 

The only thing I did wrong today was to yell at Jed when I was in the midst of my Fury. “In your anger, do not sin”, after all. I’ll work on that. Fortunately, he accepted my apology because, let’s face it, most of the time? I’m a big ol’ lovey-dovey softie with him. This was out of character, and he knew it.

So if you also have a moment that pushes you into The Fury, don’t be mad at yourself when you return to normal. 

But maybe try to leave the house until you’ve calmed down. You know, so you don’t hurt the people you love in the process.

Oh, and Zac? We have the humidifier in the bedroom tonight to help with his cough, and the poor little guy is just flat. out. miserable.

Between the cold and the FPIES reactions he’s suffering with, we’re in for a long few days.

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Have you ever experienced The Fury? 

Roomba Strikes Again

 
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Roomba

At the end of August, I flew home in a frenzy because Zac drank some of his brothers almond milk and had an FPIES reaction.

Only a week later, just as his heinie had started to heal from that, he ate some cat poop. Sigh. The bloody diapers began again.

Weekend before last, we were excited to see two days in a row with NO poopy diapers. Surely he was getting back to baseline and we could finally  retrial the Alimentum RTF!

Until Sunday the 15th. That night he gave us another reaction diaper full of who-knows-what. This time, we don’t have a clue what he ate that set him off.

All we know is that it has now been nine days and he’s STILL not back to baseline.

See the picture at the top? That is a triangle magnet that came with the Magna-doodle we bought Jed to practice drawing his letters. Zac chewed and gnawed on it enough that he actually ATE THE MAGNET! I’ve found some other interesting things he’s eaten over the last month, too:

The top of a carpet sweeper.

The top of a carpet sweeper.

Jed's SHOE.

Jed’s SHOE.

So no, we really don’t know what he ate this time that set him off. All we know is, we still can’t re-trial the Alimentum RTF yet.

I swear, our GI and Allergist are going to wonder “What are they doing? The child still hasn’t been trialed on any foods?” when we get there next week.

Yes, our follow-up appointments in Atlanta are scheduled for next Monday, and we really don’t have much in the way of progress to talk about with either doctor.

No new foods for Zac, no home-based egg trials for Jed.

Sigh.

I really, truly believed we’d be further along than this by now. FPIES sucks.

Well, if all goes well, we’ll be pouring some Alimentum into sippy cups for Zac to chug down when we’re in the doctors offices next Monday. Then we can at least show that – hey! We’re TRYING, PEOPLE!!!

Compounding the issue is the fact that as long as Zac is nursing as much and as often as he is, there really is no way for me to pump extra milk for him. I haven’t been “free” from a nursing session long enough to pump in 24 days!

So if the Ali isn’t safe for him…well, we’re about 85 ounces short of pumped milk when February comes as of today.

<shakes it off> Well, as Scarlett says, “I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

In other news, Darrel and I are busy preparing goodies to sell at a Festival in two weeks! Darrel’s Mom decided to get a small booth at the festival, and invited us to join her to sell Darrel’s pictures and my necklaces.

We’ve already attempted to sell our wares at a craft show earlier in the year; it wasn’t a total wash, but it didn’t go nearly as well as we would have liked.

So I decided to branch out and make more stuff to – hopefully – attract more people in to the booth.

I’m busy making t-shirt scarves, seat belt pillows, different necklaces, bracelets, button bookmarks, and other miscellaneous goods, while Darrel has been ordering prints at reasonable prices in hopes that people will buy a “ready-to-hang” photograph of his.

It’s a small outlay of money, but I truly have confidence we will re-coup our investment and make a good profit, which we have undoubtedly already spent. Did I mention we’re flying to Atlanta next weekend for more doctors appointments?

This is all while I have a few ideas ruminating in the back of my head, and for these other ideas, I need to ask for your help.

I’ve thought about writing some e-books; some I want to offer for free, some I plan to sell. So I’d like to ask for input on the following ideas:

  • What do you wish you’d known when you got your childs FPIES diagnosis?
  • What are the best things you’ve learned about FPIES during your journey? (diagnosis, treatment, reactions, medications, food, anything you found to be the most helpful things you learned!)
  • What do you find most challenging about cooking for FPIES/Food Allergies and the rest of your family? (Multiple meals, cross-contamination, meal planning, grocery shopping on a budget, etc.)

Obviously, I’ve been thinking about this a great deal on my own, but your input would help clarify what would be most useful for a book. I really, truly appreciate your help!

If you could take a moment of your time to share your thoughts on those subjects, please leave a comment on this blog post or on my Facebook wall. 

Thank you SO MUCH!!

__________

So, that’s our little world. How was your weekend? 

Frugal Fridays – The Moon Cup

 
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Frugal Fridays Menstrual Cup

Gentlemen, if you’re at all squeamish, stop reading now! Please come back on Monday.

Today’s Frugal Friday post is all about that special, delicate time of the month when women would like to eat their weight in chocolate and cheese, rip the head off anyone who irritates them, wear nothing but yoga pants and sloppy t-shirts, and permanently affix their heinies to the couch with a good movie while their family moves out for a week.

Ah, yes. Menstruation. Such a pleasant, charming experience.

(I found one of the best things about being pregnant to be NOT having to endure my cycle every month! It was almost enough to make me turn into Michelle Duggar. Twenty years and only – maybe – twenty periods to deal with? Sign me up, hon!)

It’s also an expensive experience to endure. After pricing out several different brands and types of tampons and pads, I figure the average woman will spend about $7.50 per month to keep herself…tidy…during her cycle.

That’s $90 a year! Over ten years, that’s $900!

Do you know how many boxes of quinoa flakes I could buy for $900?  Heck, I could buy a whole cow with that kind of moolah!

Besides, that’s an awful lot of nasty trash to pile up. Pounds and pounds of bio-waste thrown in a landfill somewhere.

All together now: EW.

Fortunately, there’s a totally awesome, easy, healthy and frugal solution to this problem!

Menstrual Cups.

Now, I first heard about these in a magazine article years ago, long before I had kids. At the time, I was sort of grossed out by the idea. I mean, ew!

Yeah.  My “ew” days are past me now. I’m a mother. Further, I’m a mother of BOYS. Even further? I’m a mother to FPIES/MSPI boys. If I can handle childbirth, vomit, and digging through poopy diapers regularly, well, a menstrual cup is absolutely a non-issue, amiright?

So last year before Zac was born I decided I wanted to go eco-friendly and uber-frugal and buy myself a menstrual cup. I figured it was worth a shot.

The only one I’d ever heard of was the Diva Cup, so imagine my surprise walking through my health food co-op one day when I saw the Keeper and the Moon Cup (both made by The Keeper.)

Why order something online and pay shipping when I could support my local co-op and try it out right away? (And the difference between the two is simple: the Keeper is made of latex rubber and the Moon Cup is made of medical-grade silicone.)

So I bough the Moon Cup right then…and still had to wait many, many moons before I could use it. (Get it? Moons? Well, I  think it’s funny!)

Anyway, the sad, unfortunate day did finally come where I had need of my fancy Moon Cup. I wish I could say it was instantly easy and perfect, but there is a bit of a learning curve at first. Thanks to age and experience, the learning curve is very short! Within a day, I was THRILLED with the decision!

As the months passed, I became even more enamored of my choice.

  • No more wadded up toilet paper used as a last ditch “uh-oh” fix.
  • No more running out of tampons in the middle of the night, necessitating an emergency run to the store (see? Even saves you gas!).
  • No more worrying about Toxic Shock Syndrome.

And the money savings was lovely!

I pay attention to when “that time” is approaching, and just stick my little Moon Cup in its’ cute little carrying bag and throw it in my purse. Then, no matter where I am, I’m all ready to go.

As long as you keep it clean, you won’t have to buy any feminine hygiene products for a DECADE. 

THAT is AWESOME!

Now, there are several different brands on the market. I found a very thorough review of the different options available here. You’ll have to select the one you think is the right choice for you, but I want to throw my 2 cents in and give a resounding shout out to the Moon Cup or the Keeper.

Why?

Well, it’s the one I use, so of course I like it. There are several excellent qualities about it, though!

For one thing, it’s the only menstrual cup on the market that is made in America. For my non-U.S. readers, this won’t make a difference, but for my fellow Americans, I know lots of us try to buy American Made Goods. This qualifies. The others don’t.

They’re also very eco-conscious; the review I linked to believes this a bad thing, as she says her Keeper and Moon Cup were delivered in “unattractive, unprofessional packaging”. The Keeper website clearly states the reason behind their unorthodox packaging: less packaging to toss away means less waste in a landfill…which is the entire purpose behind their product!

So I find their bare-bones shipping packaging to be fully in line with their company mission, and that’s very refreshing to me.

In fact, I’m such a fan of their product that when I was reading their website in preparation for writing this post I noticed they have an affiliate program and signed up right away! I had no idea  this program was available when I decided to write about the Moon Cup for Frugal Fridays, but I think of it as a happy coincidence.

So if you decide to try a menstrual cup, and want to give the Keeper or the Moon Cup a try, please do me a favor and purchase it through the link on my blog! 

Reusable Menstrual Cup

I’m very sure you’ll be happy with switching to a Moon Cup!

Hope this helps!

__________

Have you used a menstrual cup before? How did you like it?

__________

This post shared with:

Thank Your Body Thursday and Frugal Days, Sustainable Ways.

Pumpkin Hemp Muffins – Vegan/GF/Fructose Friendly

 
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SumPics Photo Blog

Jed constantly digs through the pantry. He likes to stack and sort things, and pantry food is perfect for that.

Today’s recipe comes from one of his pantry discoveries, and the subsequent nagging about two items we haven’t used before: canned pumpkin, and hemp hearts.

I always stock up on pumpkin when it’s on sale, and I’d bought hemp hearts in preparation for a hemp trial for Zac.

Did I have any clue what to DO with hemp hearts? Not a chance! But I knew people who did, so I wanted to have them on hand if a trial date ever came. When I saw them on sale at the co-op, I bought a few bags.

So there they both languished…until Jed nagged and nagged and NAGGED that he “want to eat these!” so much I finally decided to find something I could make out of both ingredients that would shut him up satisfy him.

So I searched and found two recipes that would individually satisfy using both ingredients. Except…I wanted to use them together. So I did one of my favorite things to do in the kitchen.

I tweaked.

Most of my inspiration came from Dreena Burton’s Plant Powered Kitchen and her Apple Hemp Muffins, but after all my tweaking, this is what I created: Pumpkin Hemp Muffins; vegan, gluten free, dairy free, and fructose friendly.

And yummy. Did I mention yummy?

Here’s what you do:

Get all your wet ingredients in a bowl and blend them together.

Turn this gloopy mess...

Turn this gloopy mess…

...into this gloopy mess!

…into this gloopy mess!

Get all your dry ingredients in a bowl and either sift them or stir them until well combined.

Dry ingredients well blended.

Dry ingredients well blended.

Pour your wet ingredients into your dry ingredients, mix until combined (don’t over mix)…

Mixed - but not over mixed!

Mixed – but not over mixed!

and scoop into a muffin pan!

Ready to pop in the oven!

Ready to pop in the oven!

Then bake ’em…

Fresh out of the oven!

Fresh out of the oven!

…and eat ’em!

Very easy.

You could easily make some substitutions in this recipe. Adding some dried fruits or nuts would probably make these extra rockin’, too.

One thing that might be daunting to FPIES Mamas is the extensive ingredients list for these muffins; we tend to shy away from things with too many “parts” because each one must be trialed.

I have to tell you, I made several full batches of these muffins trying to get it right. In the end, I think you could do whatever flour mix you want – as long as you have some kind of ‘starch’ in there somewhere…tapioca, arrowroot, potato, etc.

These are also NOT top 8 free, due to my addition of almond flour and almond milk. Those two ingredients could easily be subbed out with safe alternatives to make these top 8 free.

Just make sure the total quantity of flour and starch is 1 1/2 cups, and if you can’t use oats, feel free to either sub quinoa flakes or another cup of safe flour.

If pumpkin isn’t safe for you, you can always use applesauce or mashed banana instead, and I’m sure it would be just fine. Just make sure the same quantities are used!

But as is, they’re moist, tasty, and healthy little powerhouse muffins to satisfy a breakfast on the run (or a leisurely coffee break) and they did exactly what I wanted them to do: STOP THE NAGGING!

Jed certainly enjoyed his muffin! He ate his with coffee, no less. (Decaf, of course!) Darrel liked them, too.

So glad I have a way to use hemp AND pumpkin in one fell swoop – and just in time for Fall Baking! 

Enjoy!

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PUMPKIN HEMP MUFFINS
makes one dozen

Wet ingredients:
– 1 c. pumpkin puree
– 1/2 c. maple syrup
– 3/4 c. almond milk
– 1-2 tsp. vanilla extract

Dry ingredients:
– 2/3 c. almond flour
– 1/3 c. millet flour
– 1/4 c. quinoa flour
– 1/4 c. arrowroot starch
– 1 c. quick-cook oats
– 3/4 c. hemp hearts
– 2 tsp. baking powder
– 1 tsp. baking soda
– 1/4 tsp. sea salt
– 1 tsp. cinnamon
– 1/4 tsp. nutmeg

  1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Add all the wet ingredients to  a bowl; mix well.
  3. Add all the dry ingredients to a different bowl; sift together or stir until well-blended.
  4. Pour the liquid ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir until just combined; do not over mix!
  5. Put cupcake liners into a muffin pan; fill each one very full with batter.
  6. Bake for 24-28 minutes until done; test with a toothpick.
  7. Let cool completely and enjoy a healthy muffin!

__________

What’s your favorite way to use hemp hearts and pumpkin?

__________

This post shared with:

AllergyFreeWednesdays

Real Food Wednesdays, Thank Your Body Thursday, Healing With Food Friday and Frugal Days, Sustainable Ways.

Why, Yes, I AM Still Nursing My 15 Month Old

 
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Nursing Zac last night. He's become quite the acrobat while nursing; in this case, he's sitting almost at my side watching TV.

Nursing Zac last night. He’s become quite the acrobat while nursing; in this case, he’s sitting almost at my side watching TV.

The “looks” have started. 

I suppose it was going to happen eventually; in fact, we’re probably lucky it has taken this long to start. Zac is pretty small for his age, so most people probably just assume he’s younger than almost 16 months old.

But the “looks” have started, nonetheless.

What “look” am I talking about?

Well, there are slight variations of the “look”, but they’re all basically the same. For example, I’m nursing Zac in public, and I might get:

– The “ohmygoodness WHAT is she doing still nursing him at that age! That’s disgusting! He’s going to be warped for life!” look.

– Or the lip curled, sneering “oh, she’s one of those  Moms. Super granola-crunchy. Probably doesn’t wear deodorant. I bet she doesn’t discipline her children, either. She probably insists they call her by her first name.” look.

– Or the “Oh, dear! In MY day, we had the common decency to keep our breasts where they belong – in our shirts! We gave our children bottles and that was good enough for them. Uppity women these days, thinking they know better than their mothers. How vulgar!” look.

Whatever variation on the theme I get, they’re all just looks of judgement.

Wanna know what look I want to give them in return?

Well, there’s not a nice way to describe that look. I’ll leave it up to your imagination.

It isn’t a pretty look.

I don’t do that, though.

Instead, I just smile, kiss Zac on his cute little (still semi-)bald head, and ignore them.

After all, what business is it of anyone’s whether I’m still nursing my child at almost 16 months of age? More importantly, who’s got time to deal with nasty, judgmental people? Not me! (Ain’t nobody got time for that!)

So, I just ignore the “looks”.

Unless they push it.

Sadly, that has already happened. So when Ms. Judgy McJudgerstein goes beyond shooting me dirty looks and ventures into “verbally questioning a stranger about her parenting practices” territory, I tell a story. A story befitting the “look” she just gave me.

A story of FPIES, and how my breast milk is the only thing keeping my son alive. How I’ve limited my diet for over a year to ten items in order to keep that breast milk safe for him. I go into graphic  detail about the results of an FPIES reaction. Nothing is left to the imagination. Vomiting. Bloody diarrhea. Shock.

Hey, it’s the LEAST I can do, right?

Little Ms. Judgy McJudgerstein really should  hear all about my precious sons acidic, open wound diaper rashes after giving me “the look” and having the nerve to begin a verbal smack-down, don’t you think?

<wicked grin>

Don’t worry; I have some tact. Most folks are just genuinely friendly and curious. They get the ‘spreading awareness’ story; just sharing about the existence of FPIES and broad strokes about details, omitting the really graphic parts.

I really do reserve the “story” for the nasty, judgmental people (sadly, usually women) who visibly stiffen in self-righteousness.

Now, I could simply tell Ms. Judgy that she needs to mind her own business because it’s not her concern, but where’s the fun in that? What better way to convey a line crossing than by pointing out just how FAR the line has been crossed?

Besides, why bother? It’s all been said before and she surely has heard the common wisdom: we should not judge others’ parenting choices.

And still she gives the “look”. 

Mama’s like me still get judged.

I just thought I’d share what that “look” will get you if you’re rude and nasty enough to use it on me.

Either I ignore you, or I shove your foot so far down your throat it touches the ground again with our story of FPIES.

Ms. Judgy McJudgerstein? Consider yourself warned.

__________

Truly, I don’t intend to start a big pro or con breastfeeding debate, but I’m curious: what is the deal with America’s squeamishness about breastfeeding? Where on earth does that come from? And why in Heaven’s name do people feel they have the right to tell a perfect stranger how she’s doing this whole ‘parenting thing’ wrong?

The Best of Cradle Rocking Mama’s First Year

 
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The REAL Best Part of the last year! MY BOYS!!

The REAL Best Part of the last year! MY BOYS!!

Last month I wrote my One Year Anniversary post. At the time, I wanted to share my most frequently read posts with you…but in all the August work/FPIES madness never could find the time.

Recently I’ve had an incredible increase in readership, so I thought I’d help my new readers out with a “Best Of” collection from the first 13 months of this blog. (Welcome, new readers! So glad you’re here!)

So here it is: the most read posts collection!

Top Ten Recipes

  1. Cilantro Lime Crockpot Chicken
  2. Chicken and Rice Casserole
  3. Banana-Quinoa Breakfast Bake
  4. Banana Quinoa Pancakes
  5. Crispy Butter Candy Bars
  6. Coconut Milk Vanilla Ice Cream with Homemade Magic Shell Topping
  7. Dairy and Fructose Free Chocolate Easter Bunnies
  8. Blueberry Muffins (Vegan, GF, Fructose Free with Glaze)
  9. Quinoa Pasta Noodles
  10. Homemade Breakfast Sausage

However, there is one recipe I have that is the base of three different recipes with only minor modifications. If I combine the page views on those three recipes, my Vegan Cheese Sauce wins the number one most viewed recipe slot by a landslide!

Here are the three ways I’ve used that recipe base:

  1. Vegan Mac ‘n Cheese
  2. Vegan Southwest Queso
  3. Hearty “Vegan” Creamy Chicken Soup

Recipes aren’t the only things I write, of course! Here are the most read non-recipe posts from the last 13 months.

Top 10 Non-Recipe Posts

  1. Is Vanilla Fructose Free?
  2. FPIES Eyes
  3. FPIES Children with NO Safe Foods
  4. Focus on Fructose
  5. What Causes FPIES?
  6. *WE* Have FPIES Eyes
  7. A Tale of Two Babies
  8. How Could an Accurate Diagnosis Still be So Inaccurate?
  9. Babies on a Plane
  10. Renee Moilanen’s “Dirty Laundry”

Many of those are absolutely some of my favorite posts, but some of my favorites didn’t make the list. They’re still worth sharing again, though, I think!

Tips on Traveling with Toddlers with Food Allergies – I especially liked this one because traveling is so challenging anyway; adding food allergies can be incredibly daunting! There are lots of things the general public isn’t aware of when it comes to traveling with food, and I shared some decent tips for making your vacation easier.

What’s in YOUR Olive Oil? – I wrote this back in February and still see new posts being written about this subject all the time! I’m glad  there are still posts being written about it; this is an important thing to know if you’re dealing with food allergies!

My Path to Motherhood and a Big Reveal! – It was SUCH an honor to be selected to write for Megan at The Happiest Home! I’m still a little tingly over this! It was momentous for me because this was when I decided to “come out” and stop using pseudonyms for my family.

Tips to Thrive for Parents of Children with Special Needs – writing this was cathartic for me; putting down on paper the ways to handle the stresses of raising children with any sort of special needs made me truly sort out what works for me in coping. Even better was the fact that I was able to help other Mama’s out there who were struggling.

A Lesson in Fructose and Sweet Onions – This one is only a week old, and I’ve already gotten amazing feedback from it! This post really resonated with a lot of people, which thrills me to no end. Furthermore, this is the moment when I realized how fructose malabsorption had completely changed my trajectory 20 years ago – without my even knowing it until now!

A Healthy Baby – I just want my boys to be in my arms to LOVE with all my heart. Period.

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One other interesting thing a blog keeps track of are the search terms that people use to find you. Most of the search terms for this blog were pretty straight-forward, but I got a chuckle out of some of them. Here they are, with my thoughts in parenthesis:

  • I hate doctors (you and me both, sista!)
  • boys butts (ew – perv!)
  • cootie bug (I imagine some 4th grader Googling how to give ‘cootie shots’ at school)
  • I hate food allergies (again, right there with ya!)
  • torture draws/torture drawing (hmm…I think these people – yes, plural – were highly disappointed in finding my blog!)
  • big girl panties (again…ew – perv!)
  • photo of how much food you get when butchering a cow (highly specific, huh? I hope these people – yes, again, plural – were helped by my photo!)
  • is it bad to eat a whole bag of beef jerky in one sitting (Sorry, but I’m basically ROFLMAO over this one! I don’t even know where to begin commenting!)

And then there were a couple of sad ones that sobered me up in a heartbeat:

  • Can a child with FPIES live a normal life (Yes…sort of.)
  • Do children die from FPIES (four people searched for that and wound up on my blog. My heart aches for the fear those four people must have been experiencing! I wish I could reach out and give them huge hugs and reassure them that everything is going to be okay. If that was you, HUGS, darlin’! It’ll be okay! Somebody hand me a tissue, please.)

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Anyway, it’s a little late but there you have it: my top ten posts (by category). Thank you for sharing our journey this year; if not for you, I wouldn’t still be here writing. I’m looking forward to some big things planned for the next year of Cradle Rocking Mama!

LOVE YOU ALL!!

__________

By the way, did you notice our awesome cool t-shirts in the picture? They are an FPIES Foundation exclusive fundraiser t-shirt! Get one for yourself and your family and support a great cause by clicking here!

Stomach Bugs Can Bite Me

 
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photo courtesy of Ohmega1982 at http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

photo courtesy of Ohmega1982 at http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Last week I wrote about being fructosed. I was. It was rotten.

It also served to mask the early symptoms of a stomach bug. One I didn’t decide I actually had until Wednesday.

That’s right; I had a vicious stomach bug that took me at least three days to diagnose.

Further proof, in case any of us needed it, that being a family of chronically sick people sucks. If it took me three days to figure out *I* was sick, how hard is it to figure out when my kids are sick? Considering that many of their FPIES/FructMal/food issue symptoms often mimic normal maladies, well, pretty hard!

In fact, it took us until Friday night (of course! We’ve already established that kids don’t need a doctor until the weekend, right?) to figure out that JED had the stomach bug, too!

photo courtesy of artzsamui at http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

photo courtesy of artzsamui at http://www.freedigitalphotos.net
Jed looked kinda like this. Only with screaming. And crying. And LOTS of whining.

I’d thought that his behavior the last week was a combination of the Terroristic Three’s and FructMal reactions.

He was whiny, argumentative, had a poor appetite and nasty diapers, and slept rotten.

Finally, on Friday he was SO awful, refused to eat all day long, and pitched such a fit in the evening we suddenly had a light bulb moment: “Gee, I wonder if he’s got the same stomach bug I do?”

Well, duh.

Here’s where hindsight is 20/20. Since Tuesday, he’d been saying “My tummy rumbling” throughout the day.

I was thrilled that he was finally starting to recognize the difference between his tummy hurting him and being hungry! We always joke with him that “Your tummy must be rumbling!” when we know he’s hungry.

Thursday I noticed he felt a little warm, but it was a very hot day so I didn’t put a lot of thought into it. Of course he feels warm when we’re outside in the heat, right?

Friday night, though, we took his temperature. Yup. 100.1 degrees. Not a real fever, but definitely a sign something isn’t right.

He told us his tummy was rumbling and flat refused to put a single bite of any food in his mouth.

Then he fell asleep on the couch.

Hold the phone! This child never  slows down enough to fall asleep in the daytime!

I hate how our sons maladies make it so hard to diagnose them with normal childhood illnesses. Now I feel guilty that I blew off his pain all week as just more of the typical issues he has. I took away many a toy train this week as consequences of his bad behavior that probably were simply his way of coping with feeling like hammered doggie doo-doo.

Cue the Mommy Guilt.

On top of all this, Zac is trying to get not just his second molar, but BOTH incisors as well! The poor baby is just a mouth full o’ pain right now! This, of course, made for a fun week last week, and a fun weekend this weekend.

We were all awake every one to two hours all night long for the last four or five nights.

Finally, on Sunday I felt almost normal tummy-wise. Jed seemed to bounce back just about the same time.

So we ate like little starving piggies on Sunday. Oink oink, y’all.

Zac is almost ready to re-start his Alimentum RTF trial, after an extended FPIES reaction. After his next “clear” diaper, we’re ready to begin anew.

So that’s our little health update; how are things in your world?

Frugal Fridays – Rationing Bacon

 
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There are some things we all know to be true, even if they aren’t usually mentioned in public.

  • Women get snarky at certain times of the month.
  • Little boys don’t always hit the target in the bathroom.
  • Men are almost always up for nookie.
  • And medical bills for chronic illness often bankrupt families.

Add to that last one the cost of eating an organic, real food, allergy friendly diet, and you’ll realize that FPIES families are often not doing as well financially as they would be without FPIES complicating their lives.

It’s gettin’ real for the Summers family now, folks.

Finances haven’t been great for a long time, but we shuffled and juggled and kept things afloat, with one thing in the back of our minds: I would be returning to work.

I did. And it was a beautiful financial pressure-relief! But it was short-lived. Zac needs me at home now, so we have to face the reality that not only am I not earning money for the next 5 months, but I may not be able to return to work in February if things don’t improve for Zac substantially in that time.

So my mindset has finally completely shifted into “Depression-era” thinking.

My grandmother’s generation lived by the mantra:

Use it up, Wear it out, Make it do or Do Without.

On those lines, I decided to start my first ever feature: Frugal Fridays. I’ll share any useful, frugal ideas or tips that we use that might benefit other families.

After all, FPIES families struggle, but frankly, it’s not so great out there for average families, either.

So here’s my first Frugal Friday tip, and it involves BACON!

Frugal Fridays Bacon

So, you’re in the grocery store and you buy some bacon. It comes in a 1 pound package…but the serving size is something ridiculous, like “2 slices”. (Let’s ignore, for a moment, my personal belief that a “serving” of bacon is equal to “however much bacon is cooked”, of course!)

What happens when you get home?

You forget about the whole “bacon serving thing” and toss the entire package in the freezer. 

Then, when you want to eat bacon some morning, you have to thaw an entire package of bacon and cook it all (within a reasonable amount of time) to prevent spoilage.

Well, that’s what you do if you’re me.

Even worse, I’m usually just cooking bacon for one little person: my three-year-old. Much as he loves it, no child needs to eat a whole pound of bacon in a day!

Honestly, though, this idea only came about when I found a “safe” brand of bacon for Jed to trial…and the most economical way to buy it was a 3 pound package! No way was I going to either cook or waste 3 pounds of bacon!

This idea will be especially useful for those of you who make your own bacon; I haven’t done it yet, but I’ve read about the process. THAT is some serious  DIY, folks – you won’t want to just serve your bacon willy-nilly. Each slice will be the equivalent of a rare delectable that should be savored and lingered over. Yeah, not cookin’ up a pound of that for a single person!

SO…if you’d like to make your bacon last longer, serve appropriate serving sizes, and make your money count in the kitchen, simply make a bacon roll-up!

Start with your refrigerated bacon. Open the package all the way. Also get out a roll of freezer or parchment paper and unroll as much as you can while still fitting on your counter.

*You may recall I used wax paper for this originally. Turns out, it didn’t work very well on the unrolling end of things! So I changed my instructions to reflect the needed use of parchment or freezer paper instead.

Bacon on the left. Paper on the right. Ready to go!

Bacon on the left. Paper on the right. Ready to go!

Because I cook breakfast for Jed 7 days a week and only cook breakfast for my husband 3 days a week, I go one step further: I cut the bacon strips in half first.

Some days, this doesn't matter. He eats full sized equivalents anyway. It helps on occasion, though!

Some days, this doesn’t matter. He eats full sized equivalents anyway. It helps on occasion, though!

Then start laying your strips out on the paper. Leave a small edge of paper before your first strip.

Lovely little strips of delicious piggy!

Lovely little strips of delicious piggy!

When you’ve laid out as much bacon as will fit on the available paper, simply fold up the edge of the paper over the first strip like so…

Folding the starting edge.

Folding the starting edge.

And start rolling!

Rollin' up.

Rollin’ up.

Keep laying strips of bacon down and rolling over them as you go until you have no more bacon left. Instead, you’ll have a bacon roll-up!

Bacon Roll-up!

Bacon Roll-up!

I used a piece of freezer tape to hold the edge of my roll-up closed.

Stuck on you.

Stuck on you.

Then, since air is bad when freezing, I put the whole roll-up in a FREEZER Ziploc bag and sucked as much air out as I could. I’ve used regular Ziploc bags for freezing before, and the ones designed for the freezer really do make a difference in how long the food stays good. They’re worth it, so look for coupons!

Sucking the air out.

Sucking the air out.

Since I don’t have a fancy vacuum-sealer device, I use the highly technical approach of sealing the Ziploc as much as I can, sticking a straw down into the bag, zipping it closed up to the edge of the straw, and sucking until I think my lungs are going to explode. As soon as it seems mostly devoid of air, pinch the straw closed, pull it out and snap the last bit of Ziploc closed.

Then store the bacon roll-up in the freezer, and as you need bacon simply unroll the roll-up, peel off the small number of strips you need, re-seal and re-freeze the roll-up.

No need to thaw and cook 3 pounds of bacon at once any longer! Now you’ll be able to cook only what you need.

Good for the pocketbook, good for the waistline.

That’s a win-win, folks!

Oh, and if you want to make life really easy on yourself, when you go to cook that bacon?

DO IT IN THE OVEN.

Just sayin’.

So there’s my first frugal tip. If you have any frugal tips you use that you think others could benefit from, leave a comment!

Hope this helps!

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What Causes FPIES?

 
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IMG_8145-1

What causes FPIES?

FPIES Mama’s often wonder this. Being Mom’s, we’re only too inclined to pile guilt onto our heads. We want to know if something we ate, drank, or did while pregnant made our kids sick.

Fortunately, we have two Mama’s in our group who have twin children. In each set of twins, one has FPIES and one does not. So obviously it wasn’t something either Mama did while pregnant that caused FPIES.

After ruling out maternal fault, we’re still left wondering at the cause. The honest answer? Nobody knows what causes FPIES.

At this point, the medical  establishment is busy trying to learn the mechanics of how FPIES works in the body; until they know exactly how things go awry in an FPIES child, they will have a hard time discerning the reason why everything went “wonky”.

Furthermore, FPIES is a rare disease. Trying to find funding for medical research is challenging at best; it is almost impossible to find funding for research into a condition that does not affect a large population.

*As a side note, that is one of the things the FPIES Foundation is hoping to accomplish. If we can raise enough money to fund certain research projects, we can hire scientists and doctors to look into some of the questions we all have about FPIES. If you make tax-deductible donations to help with your taxes, please consider donating here. There are also other ways to contribute that don’t require writing a check – please take a look! Thank you!

So we’re left in the dark, managing the illness without any explanation of the cause; which potentially means some of the accepted management practices are actually not helpful, once we learn more about the disease. Frustrating.

I have my own theory about the cause of FPIES. Take it with a grain of salt, of course, but if I were a scientist or medical researcher, these would be the hypotheses I would attempt to prove or disprove.

1. Genetics

Based on the twin cases mentioned above, obviously genetics isn’t the only explanation of FPIES. However, there could be a genetic component to FPIES (and other severe intolerances/allergies).

Simply from anecdotal evidence from our own families and other FPIES Mama’s, it seems as though there is at least some tendency towards allergies in most FPIES families. It may be as mild as hay fever during spring, or as severe as an anaphylactic reaction, but someone, somewhere in the genetic ancestry of these kids has a tendency of allergies.

Many FPIES Mama’s are independently looking into the possibility that the MTHFR Gene Mutation may play a part in their childs FPIES. I’ve also seen Mama’s with Fructose Malabsorbative children investigating this possibility, and Mama’s of children with myriad health concerns who are treating their children with the GAPS protocol.

I have not looked into this myself, but from what I understand this gene mutation has been linked to a laundry list of chronic, serious health concerns. It makes sense that it, or something like it, may be playing a part in FPIES.

2. Method of Childbirth/Antibiotic Use In Childbirth/Damaged Gut Flora

There is a growing body of evidence that our bodies require balanced gut flora in order to maintain proper health. This is a fascinating (though technical) article about how interlinked our immune system is to our gut microbiotia.

Here’s where that gets tricky: our gut flora is established at birth, primarily from our mother’s own gut flora.

So a child delivered via C-section avoids passing through the vaginal canal and does NOT pick up a sizable portion of their mothers gut flora.

A mother given antibiotics during childbirth has damaged her own gut flora (antibiotics don’t care if you’re good bacteria or bad bacteria; they kill indiscriminately) and passes that damaged gut flora on to her child.

A child fed primarily or solely formula misses out on some very good gut flora perk-ups along the way.

Think of your friends and family. In this day and age, out of all those people, what percentage gave birth vaginally, without antibiotics, and breastfed for a year?

Right. Hardly – if any – at all. We’re a “sanitize-it, sterilize-it, antibiotic-it” culture these days, and we are passing that on to our children.

This may not be a major cause of FPIES; surely there are some FPIES children out there who were born completely naturally to a holistic mother who eschewed antibiotics her entire life…but I believe it plays at least a small part in the development of FPIES in our kids.

If you’re interested in more information, here are some interesting links about gut flora at birth:

Gut Homeostasis and Understanding FPIES
Caesarean Delivery May Affect the Early Biodiversity of Intestinal Bacteria
Newborns Gut Bacteria Differ by Delivery, Breastfeeding
Acquisition of Gut Flora in the Infant

3. GMO’s

It’s no secret I loathe GMO’s, the companies that create them, and  the people who work at the companies who create them. (Yes, Monsanto, Syngenta and Bayer, I’m looking at you, you sleezeoids.)

Finally, in spite of The Evil Conglomerate’s ignorance campaigns, data is coming out that shows that GMO’s cause permanent harm to our cells and gut flora.

Furthermore, data is also coming out that proves glyphosate (aka Round-Up), the weed-killer GMO’s are designed to tolerate, also causes such damage to our bodies and flora. Read here and here for some really good supportive data.

Here are two reports of an actual INCREASE in glyphosate use in farmland over the past two decades: Impacts of Genetically Engineered Crops on Pesticide Use in the U.S. – the First Sixteen Years and this press release from Friends of the Earth – Europe.

So now you’ve got kids with a tendency towards some form of allergy, with likely damaged or incompletely formed gut flora (and compromised immune systems) due to our modern medical practices, being swamped with chemicals that damage gut flora, cell function, and who-knows-what-else in our bodies.

Hmm…

4. Bad Luck

But that doesn’t necessarily explain it. While I think the evidence proves GMO’s, overuse of antibiotics, and weed-killers are outright bad for our bodies, none of those have been proven to actually CAUSE FPIES. In fact, due to lack of research, NOTHING has been absolutely linked to cause FPIES.

So some people think there just might be a tad bit of “bad luck” thrown in to explain why our kids suffer this way.

The yellow tube is the feeding tube going into his nose. The O2 canula also went into his nose. He spent a lot of time trying to rub his nose.

Zac last summer at Children’s Hospital during his first  – and hopefully only – FPIES hospitalization. The yellow tube is the feeding tube going into his nose. The O2 canula also went into his nose. He spent a lot of time trying to rub his nose.

However, I happen to agree with the Food Allergy Bitch: these kids – FPIES and traditional IgE allergic kids – are the canaries in the coal mine. Genetics and Bad Luck don’t really play as big a part in it as people (and Monsanto) would like to think.

These children are, for whatever reason, the first – or second – wave of What The Future Of Our Health looks like if we continue on our current path.

Because it’s not only FPIES we’re talking about here. There are many conditions that are increasing in frightening numbers: EoE, typical food allergies, autism, Crohn’s Disease, Celiac, asthma…Lord, the list just goes on and on!

While all different disorders, what do they have in common? The immune system. 

The immune systems in our children are wigging out, and nobody knows exactly why.

I have my opinion. (Monsanto is evil.) What do you think?

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A Day of Remembrance

 
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Late Spring 2002: Where the Towers Used to Stand

Late Spring 2002: Where the Towers Used to Stand

Twelve years ago today America was attacked and the Twin Towers fell.

The last two months at work, I found myself occasionally working with Flight Attendants who were so young, they were still in Elementary School when this catastrophic event occurred.

Consequently, they had been shielded from the full horror, and for them it was only a really bad thing that happened a long time ago.

It wasn’t visceral. 

It wasn’t life-altering.

It wasn’t the most horrifying thing they’d ever experienced.

Life does go on, but today, please try to remember.

Remember what it felt like to be alive on September 10th, 2001.

Remember how that feeling shattered the next morning.

Remember.