Why You Don’t Let an FPIES Kid Eat Kitty Litter

They’re cuddly. They’re cute. They’re purry and sweet. But there’s a dark side to the kitties…

Scene:  Mr. Charm is down for his afternoon nap.  Mr. Happy is crawling around in the kitchen and dining room while I clean up the kitchen.  I’m talking to my Mom on the phone.

(It’s important to know that during construction last summer, we put the kitty litter boxes under the breakfast bar, next to the hallway.  Not the best place, but we had no where else.  Thanks to being super-duper swamped the last 6 months, we have not moved them to a more suitable place yet.)

Me:  (interrupting my Mom) “No!  Stay out of the kitty litter!”

Mom: “What?”

Me:  “Oh, Mr. Happy was trying to get into the kitty litter.  <to Mr. Happy, as he reached in the box and grabbed a handful> I said NO, young man!”

I picked him up and started digging kitty litter out of his hands.

Mom:  (laughs) “Well, that’s babies for you!  He’s going to be just like his big brother and get into everything!”

Me: (I’ve put Mr. Happy down in the kitchen so I can sweep up around the litter boxes – again) “Yeah, but why do they always have to go for the kitty litter?”

Mom: “I guess it reminds them of a big sandbox…” (as she’s talking, Mr. Happy is determinedly crawling back to the litter boxes while I sweep)

Me:  “I guess…we have GOT to get the cat door installed in the laundry room door so we can move these litter boxes out of here.  But I don’t have a saw to do it – do you think just drilling a line of holes will work?”

Mom: “Well, that could work, or you could wait until your Dad and I are up there and we can help you.”  (While she’s talking, I can see Mr. Happy almost at the litter boxes.  I start towards him, and before she finishes her sentence he sweeps his little hand in, grabs some litter, and shoves it in his mouth.)

Me:  “Mr. Happy, I.  SAID.  NO!!”  (Busily swiping litter out of his mouth as fast as I can)  “I don’t know what’s IN kitty litter!”

Mom:  (EXPLODES with laughter)  “Oh, God!  Don’t you remember the ‘good ol’ days’ when you didn’t want your kids to eat kitty litter just because – ew!  Now you have to worry about what’s IN the litter!”

Me: (not seeing the humor in this)  “Exactly.  Plus, I’m sure the cat food has corn and soy and who knows what else in it, and THAT will be in their poop, too.”

Mom: (laughing, relays the encounter to my Dad in the background)

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While she’s talking, I suddenly realize – I could care LESS about the “ew” factor of my son eating cat poop.  I’m ONLY worried about the ‘mystery’ ingredients in the litter, and the trace ingredients in the actual cat poop.  

If it were safe, I’d shrug my shoulders, roll my eyes, and dutifully feed the child a steaming hot plate of cat poo coated in kitty litter – as long as it was a safe food for him to eat!

Suddenly, I was laughing.  And feeling a bit heartbroken.

Because THAT is why you don’t let an FPIES kiddo eat kitty litter: not because it’s gross, and unsanitary, but because you don’t know what is “in” it.  

FPIES really, really skewers your world-view as a Mama.  Just sayin’.  

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