Teeny-Tiny

The Geek might start thinking I’m the most vain person on the planet soon, because I keep looking at myself in the mirror and making random exclamations about how GOOD I look now.

It’s not vanity.  Really.

It’s shock.

I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around the drastic weight loss (63 pounds!), and the body that had been hiding underneath all that bulk for so long.

A couple weeks ago, the kiddos and I were heading in to a store; Mr. Happy was in his Ergo carrier, and for some “I’m two and therefore impulsive” reason, Mr. Charm didn’t want to walk – he wanted me to carry him.

So there I was, a baby strapped to my chest, a toddler on my hip, my “Mom Bag” purse/diaper bag combo over the other shoulder, marching my way across the parking lot, when it dawned on me…Mr. Charm weighs about 27 pounds.  Mr. Happy weighs just under 20 pounds.  My purse probably weighs in between 3-5 pounds (I know, it’s absurd, but whenever I take things out, the next day I need whatever I removed).

Add it together, and you’ve got 50-52 pounds of weight I was hauling.

That’s STILL 11-13 pounds less than I used to carry around ON MY BONES, ALL THE TIME.

It’s a wonder my knees haven’t already given out! (But it does explain the surprising amount of muscle I actually have.)

In Atlanta, I went shopping at Goodwill (thrift stores have been a lifesaver, as I’ve dropped weight so quickly).  My Mom kept Mr. Charm with her, so it was just me and Mr. Happy on my mission: khaki pants and jeans.

I absolutely scored: two dresses I wasn’t even looking for (that I can nurse in while wearing), two khaki pants (one corduroy – tell me, why did I hate corduroy as a kid? That stuff is awesome!), and two pairs of jeans.  PLUS, a London Fog raincoat in excellent condition!

And it was all size FOUR.  

Before this elimination diet started, I was a size 16/18.  

As I was checking out, the lady behind me struck up a conversation about Mr. Happy, and how ‘big’ he is.  I laughingly told her that he was actually my small baby at birth – a full two pounds and some change smaller than his older brother.  When she heard their birth weights, her eyes got big and she exclaimed “And look at you!  You’re so little!”

Little.  

Someone described me as “little”.

I’ve been a “Big Girl” for so long, being called “Little” felt…weird.

At the dieticians office, we were talking about Mr. Charm’s growth curve.  He’s been on the smaller side since he was about 9-12 months old.  For me, that meant that the introduction of solid foods had done something to his growth pattern, and I was blaming the fructose.

The dietician disagreed; she said often breastfed babies will drop weight at some point.  (If she’s right, I guess I owe our pediatrician an apology.)

Then she pointed out, “And look at you two. <me and the Geek> You’re both slim.  Being small and tall is probably going to be Mr. Charm’s normal.”

Slim.  

She described me as “slim”.

I told her that until recently, I was NOT slim.  I was obese.

(Whew.  That was hard to say!  I’d lived in denial for so long, I couldn’t see the truth…and I know I would never have been able to say the truth.)

I was obese.

She looked shocked; apparently, I’ve lost weight “well” and look as though I’ve been trim and fit my whole life.

If she only knew…I told her that the Geek and I had been “Jack Sprat and his wife” when we married.  He was tall and skinny, I was short and fat.

I much prefer being short and skinny.

But I’m still shocked when I look in the mirror.  

__________

And now I’m going to do something very brave and silly for a fairly “anonymous” blog: I’m going to share pictures of myself.  Furthermore, I’m going to share a “fat” picture.  Be gentle, please!

This was taken at the top of Camelback in Phoenix in 2005.  This is the heaviest I ever was, but I was still only about ten pounds heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight (the weight I was when I got married to the Geek).

I take some comfort from the fact that, even at that weight, I managed to haul myself up the steep side of Camelback, all the way to the top!  (We didn’t know there was a steep way and  a gradual way to get to the top…we went the hard way!)

This was taken yesterday.

See what I mean?  Shocked.

Has anyone else lost a huge amount of weight?  How long did it take before you weren’t shocked at your image in the mirror?