Up, Up and Away!

Well, it’s official.

I’m a working Flight Attendant again.

Saturday morning I left home and I’m still on the road.

It’s going…okay, actually.

I could write a novel about these last few days, but in the interest of keeping it brief, here are the most important things we’ve discovered since my return to work.

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Friday we learned that Jed has the ability to make himself sick from stress.

My Mom and Dad came over on Thursday, and while they were visiting my Mom told Jed that he and Zac would be coming to stay with them on Monday while I was at work.

Only one problem: I hadn’t told the kids I was going to work yet! I planned to tell them on Friday morning. Less time for them to worry before the big event, you know?

All day on Thursday, Jed kept coming up to me and telling me he didn’t want me to go to work. By Friday morning, his refrain had switched to “Mommy! I must come with you to the airport!”

Friday afternoon? He didn’t want to let me out of his sight, and hadn’t really eaten anything since breakfast.

Finally he passed out on the couch at four in the afternoon; that is very  unusual for him!

He woke up about a half hour later, screaming “I don’t want to go to Grandma’s house!” and when I asked him if he was okay, he told me his tummy hurt.

Hmm.

Then he ran into our bedroom, climbed on the bed, tucked himself in, and slept until 6:30 p.m.

Darrel had gone to a photo shoot, so I couldn’t discuss this with him. I was beginning to panic, thinking I had a sick kiddo on my hands and would have to call out sick for my first trip back to work, so I called my Mom to get her input.

After expressing concern, she got quiet for a minute and said “Do you think it could be stress about you going to work?”

As we debated whether Jed was actually physically sick or simply stressed out and making himself feel rotten, he woke up.

He ran to the kitchen, spotted me and Zac, then raced to the living room. Then I heard him race to the office. Then back to the kitchen, where he frantically shouted “Where is Daddy?!”

Daddy being gone was, apparently, incredibly distressing for Jed.

When I explained that “Daddy had to go to a softball game to take pictures of a girl”, Jed VISIBLY relaxed, exclaimed “Oh! I must go to a softball field to take pictures of a girl!” and ran off to play.

Not only did he play like a perfectly healthy little boy that night, he also suddenly developed an appetite! He also gave me at least 10 times the normal number of hugs and kisses he usually freely gives to me throughout the day, and kept telling me he loved me, he didn’t want me to go, and he wanted to go with me.

Sigh.

I made a travel chain with him to help with the anxiety, and we got lots of snuggles that night. After we made the chain, he kept telling me he was going to go take a ring off. After all, in 3 year old logic, if Mommy will come home when the last ring is removed, then we must remove the last ring right now so she won’t go!

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So far, Zac has been doing well, but he is refusing to take much breastmilk.

Saturday, he only consumed 9.5 ounces of breastmilk all day long, and refused a bottle during his middle of the night wakeups.

He managed to consume 24 ounces of goat milk on Saturday, though. As well as 2 sausage patties and 1.5 cups of quinoa.

Sunday he also drank 24 ounces of goats milk, and ate a little more than a cup of quinoa and a little  bit of egg. But he only took 6.5 ounces of breastmilk all day.

I’m a little concerned.

He is refusing the bottles of breastmilk most of the time, and also refuses to drink  the goat milk. All the goat milk he’s gotten has been in ice cream form.

By my calculations, he consumed 1147 calories on Saturday and 947 calories on Sunday. That’s not too bad, but I worry that he’s not getting the micro-nutrition he needs without more breastmilk contributing to his total food intake.

I’ll admit I’ve worried that he’s weaning too soon, before his diet is complete enough to successfully do so. Then I remind myself that he just might be in a phase where he prefers it “straight from the tap” and not from a bottle, so I shouldn’t worry. Yet.

The only way to know for certain what is happening is to return home and see how he takes to nursing over the first 24 hours I’m back. With luck and prayer, he’ll go back to nursing every 2-3 hours throughout the day and my fears can fade away.

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My pumping production has dropped since we did our trial run. In just a month, I’ve gone from being able to pump 18.5 ounces in a 30 hour period to getting 24 ounces in 48 hours. That’s a drop of 2.8 ounces per day.

I’m sure Zac’s love of goat milk has contributed to my decrease in supply, and I’m honestly of two minds about it. On one hand, it’s exactly what we intended: introduce goat milk to supplement the breastmilk and make it possible for him to nurse slightly less and still be well fed.

On the other hand is panic at the thought of him weaning. Setting aside my absolute love of nursing him and personal sadness at the loss of that relationship, I once again return to the concern that he’s weaning too soon, before his diet is complete enough to successfully do so.

But again, I must simply wait until I return home and see what happens.

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On a lighter note, trying to Facetime with small children is hysterical! They like to flip the phone around, hold it up so close to their faces you can see inside their nostrils, and alternate between screaming into the phone and walking away while still talking.

Well, I guess I should say it’s hysterical AND annoying. 

Still, there’s little better in the world than hearing your 3 year old scream “Hi Mommy! I love you!” when you’re far away and can’t get back to them.

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That’s enough for now. Returning to work is nerve-wracking and lifestyle changing for my family, and we’ll just have to work through it somehow.

How was your weekend?