If you’re married (and traditional), you probably remember standing in front of the minister, staring lovingly into your future spouses eyes, and glibly, naively, repeating those beautiful words:
…in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, til death do us part.
I know I made that promise without much thought; after all, Darrel was IT. No matter what happened, I wanted to go through it with him by my side. What’s there to think about?
I still feel that way.
However…
I think it’s quite reasonable for me, after our last 5 years of married life, to be a little curious about one thing: where on earth is our “good times”, “health”, and “richer”??
I mean, don’t those vows sort of imply that there will be BOTH good and bad, rich and poor, health and illness??
Well, we’ve stuck it out through LOTS of “bad times”, “sickness” and “poorer”. Don’t we get to see the flip side eventually?
‘Cause, really…this is getting ridiculous. April was absurd!
I’ll make it easier to digest by breaking the events of April down into categories:
“Bad Times”:
- Lost/stolen bag containing all the photos and videos of my kids for the last three years (plus all our tax documents)
- A little boy at tee ball tried to give Jed some chewing gum and I nearly had a stroke, and then felt awful that he’s already dealing with being different from normal kids
“Sickness”:
- Zac has learned to play in the bathtub in the middle of the day simply because he had to take so many therapeutic baths recently
- He also a mild reaction – complete with nasty diapers – to the latest food trial (bell peppers)
- He had an acute reaction to an oats trial with horrible vomiting and constipation
- He had another band aid reaction that blistered his face
“Poorer”:
- My car needed two new tires, this only two weeks after Darrel’s car needed a new battery
- Our overhead kitchen light (the major light in my kitchen) stopped working a few weeks ago. Changing lightbulbs didn’t fix it, so we have to call an electrician.
- Last week we smelled gas leaking from our air conditioning/heating unit, and it’s only 3 years old! Another expensive repair man will be called. (We turned the gas off, of course.) Now we also have to fill up our gas tank for next winter, since it leaked enough that it is empty. There’s another 1-2K we didn’t plan for.
- At my last dentist appointment, I learned that my gums are not doing well. On his orders, I went to see an orthodontist to learn that I get to wear braces for a year. That will cost $6,680, and our dental insurance doesn’t cover any orthodontia. Oh, and once the braces come off? I have to visit a periodontist for probable grafting. Ouch!
Of course, many of those items overlap categories. Still, I think we’ve managed to cover all three rather thoroughly, don’t you?
Thank goodness Jed has been perfectly fine all month!
On the plus side, Darrel and I are standing together, stronger than ever, thanks to our date/vacation in Alaska and some epiphanies we gleaned there.
So while life has certainly NOT been a bed of roses lately, we aren’t being crushed by it all.
In fact, we’re kind of laughing at it all.
I mean, this stuff is not funny. None of it. At all. In fact, it’s pretty much all stuff to cry, whine, stomp, complain, or, for some people, drink over.
But for us?
<snort>
That’s just become our normal life!
We’re shaking our heads and rolling our eyes at the fact that with every step our family takes, we seem to just hit more brick walls.
But maybe that’s the point of those vows.
Maybe they weren’t an implication that there would be both good and bad. Maybe they were a reminder to FIND the good IN the bad.
Because truthfully, there is nothing better in life than having my wonderful husband and marvelous sons by my side. I wouldn’t trade any amount of riches or ease for any part of my family and the love we share.
They’re the best “good times” I’ve ever had.
But, you know, it might be nice to be able to bask in the awesomeness of my family without being sick, wondering how we will pay our bills, or struggling in some way.
Just for a while.
I love my family, but I’m only human, after all.
Have you ever had a month that just bombarded you with bad stuff? Please say it turned around!
