I Don’t Know What To Do

It was another long night with Zac.

At the end of yesterdays post I wrote about Zac’s sudden weird eye swelling late Sunday night/early Monday morning.

So yesterday I spent a TON of hours on the phone with pharmacists and doctors.

Both boys are now scheduled to see the allergist in a couple weeks for retesting.

The compounding pharmacist says he can make more dipenhydramine for the boys, since we only had one dose left and it was dosed for lighter weights than the boys are now.

I also learned that the compounding pharmacist can use quinoa flour as a filler in the boys pills, which means they can use the machine to make the pills instead of hand crafting each one, which means the cost per pill will go WAY down!

Zac’s eyes were still a little red and puffy yesterday morning, but he had no eye discharge and was otherwise ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.

No, seriously.

For the first time in over a week, he had NO runny nose. It was as if one dose of benadryl was enough to fix his cold. So weird!

He was full of energy and playful all day long and didn’t rub his nose or eyes once.

But he had two poops that I think were mild reaction diapers. They were mushy and stank of that nasty, sour, “buttery popcorn” smell his early FPIES diapers had.

As soon as we got in to bed last night, he started rubbing his nose vigorously. It looked just like how he’d rubbed his nose and eyes the night before.

He struggled to go to sleep but finally went down.

Twenty minutes later he woke up crying.

I nursed him, and he went to sleep again.

Less than an hour later, he was up again. This time, screaming.

He screamed. For two hours straight. 

He didn’t want to be held. He didn’t want to be put down. He didn’t want a bath. He didn’t want to nurse. He didn’t want to eat.

He was rubbing his nose a LOT.

So we gave him another dose of dipenhydramine, hoping it would help him pass out.

It didn’t.

He kept screaming.

No matter what we did, he kept screaming.

If I carried him, he screamed.

If I walked with him, he screamed.

If I stood with him, he screamed.

If I sat with him, he screamed.

You know you’re losing it when you beg your two year old to “Please, baby, please tell me anything to make it better! Just answer yes or no! I’m begging you, baby!”

He also didn’t want to bend at his waist. Whether sitting or standing, he refused to sit or do anything other than plank and kick.

This is where Darrel and I have divergent opinions. Darrel thinks it was a temper tantrum.

I think it was pain.

I’m willing to concede that it turned IN to a temper tantrum after about the first hour, but in the beginning, I believe it was straight up pain.

But from what, I don’t know.

We finally got him to sleep again at nearly 1:00 a.m.

Fifteen minutes later he woke up again.

I passed out while nursing him that time, but based on how I feel this morning, I think it’s safe to assume he woke me frequently throughout the night.

And this morning, my throat feels like it’s on fire. Total strep or tonsillitis feeling in my throat.

Just. Freaking. Great.

Because I’m supposed to leave for work tomorrow and haven’t called out sick ENOUGH from work lately, right?

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know what’s going on with Zac.

If I can manage to get my throat under control enough to go to work, I have to go. We’re broke. We have to have the money.

And it will be one of the hardest things I ever do. Leaving Zac when he’s obviously not doing well will absolutely kill me.

I’m just at a total loss about what is wrong with him.

Is this a normal kid thing? An FPIES thing? A seasonal allergy thing? A temper tantrum thing? Is he reacting to dipenhydramine? Is he reacting to one of the 5 foods he’s still eating? Is it a histamine thing?

This is the first time in his life where I not only have no idea what is wrong, but I have no idea what to DO to try and figure it out.

When he went into shock at 7 weeks old, I didn’t know what was wrong, but I knew we needed the hospital.

When he’s had FPIES reactions before, I knew what he was reacting to and that avoiding the food and giving him some time would fix it.

This is a total and complete mystery and I hate it.

And 5 days of highly interrupted sleep with a screaming baby giving me terrors of IgE reactions has turned my brain into mush and pushed my body to its limits.

Other than stripping his bed and washing all the linens, I really just don’t know what to do.

Anyone have any brilliant ideas? Please?