Despite, or perhaps because of, my children’s allergies and food issues, I want them to have as normal and independent a childhood as possible. After Mr. Charm was born, I was turning into a helicopter Mom of the worst kind; his health concerns kept me hovering over him constantly, and it was getting to be worrisome for me (and the Geek!)
I stumbled onto Free Range Kids one day, and subscribed to her blog. I don’t always agree with everything she says (does anyone always agree with other people?) but her point of view helps keep me from taking away too much of my children’s independence by doing too much for them.
Because of her, I let my kids play. Mr. Charm is a climber, and I let him climb (within reason). He’s a rough-and-tumble little boy, and I let him be who he is. That means he falls, trips, bumps into things, and gets into sticky situations sometimes.
That’s normal, in case you’ve forgotten! I sometimes have to think back to my own childhood to really let go. Think about all the messes you got into as a kid, and how they helped shape who you became! Far be it from me to steal that sense of self-reliance from my own kids.
But this post got me thinking…will parents like me who let their kids be kids get called to the mat for it?
I spend a lot of time with doctors and in hospitals now. Will some well-meaning nurse or doctor take a look at the bruises and boo-boo’s Mr. Charm and, eventually, Mr. Happy have and report me to the authorities?
There is a huge difference between normal childhood boo-boo’s and a child suffering from neglect. Can we really trust a bureaucrat to make that distinction?
It’s hard being a parent. It’s harder when you don’t follow the crowd and take childhood away from your kids.
Do you worry more about what your child is doing, or what other people might do about what your child is doing?
I also love Free Range Kids. My main tactic when others comment on my kids (which hasn’t happened often) is to be super matter of fact, i.e. “I just haven’t known her to leave the property, so I feel okay letting her play on the front porch as long as the front door is open so I could hear if another adult approached her.” Even free range people have limits and logic and as long as you have your own reasoning constructed then it’s easy to give a simple answer and then move on. Usually it makes the other person either think, “oh yeah, my kid could do that, too,” or it makes them go, “oh yeah, if only little Titus didn’t bolt for the bayou every time I opened the screen door, I could let him outside on his own every now and then.”
LOL Love this: “if only little Titus didn’t bolt for the bayou”! The mental picture painted by those words…I’m rolling here! Actually, replace the names, and that could be my son…which is why we’re trying to figure out how to afford a privacy fence way out here in the country!
You’re absolutely right, though; if you have your own reasoning constructed and are confident in that decision, it’s easy to offer an explanation. I just wonder, if you’re talking to a social worker that’s been called due to ‘suspicions’, if that well-thought out reasoning would make any difference.