My brain is just filled with thoughts of Mother’s Day and Motherhood.  I sat down to write a post about it and it was just…going no where. Rather, it was going everywhere! Rambles and oh-so-earnest “lessons” and it just…sucked.

Mama’s tired, y’all.

And that’s as good a starting point as any, because don’t we ALL say we’re tired all the time? That motherhood wipes us out of energy? That having kids means we don’t ever get any sleep?

Yeah, we whine, y’all. We moan and complain. We lament the crappy Mother’s Day gifts we get (or don’t get, as the case may be) and the lack of general appreciation we experience all year long.

I’m tired of it. I’m tired of the Mama Whining.

Last year I wrote an explanation of why I selected “Cradle Rocking Mama” as my blog name. To sum it up very briefly, it came about because of William Ross Wallace’s poem:

The hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

That’s pretty righteous, right there.

We so easily forget that being Mama’s means we are

The reason we so easily forget this is because often our attitudes about Motherhood are all wrong.

It’s not really our fault; we live in a society and culture that sneakily undermines Motherhood at every pass and has become a self-focused mess of “what’s in it for me”? It’s hard to combat cultural norms when fighting every day, all day, to do what we have to do to take care of ourselves, our husbands, our children, our work, our extended families, and our myriad other obligations (see: the never-ending pile of laundry)!

But, Mama’s, I’m here to say: we have GOT to rally. We have GOT to adjust this attitude that has pervaded not only our society, but ourselves. We can’t let our laundry defeat us this way.

We have got to get over the “Martyr Complex” and actually BE Martyr’s.

Merriam-Webster defines martyr as:

1: a person who voluntarily suffers death as the penalty of witnessing to and refusing to renounce a religion

2: a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle

Well, none of us wants to die, so let’s exclude definition #1. And definition #3 is exactly what I’m arguing against! So let’s examine definition #2.

 2: a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle

What makes a mother all of these things?

What makes a mother “the hand that rules the world”?

Because we are the teachers, leaders, and guides of our children. WE are the ones who instruct our children how to be good people. How to be holy. How to be kind. How to be useful, productive, purposeful, instrumental in change.

Through our example, we create the next generation of servants to mankind.

What kind of an example are we setting if we are begrudging servants of our own home?

How can we teach our children to affect positive change in the world if our attitude towards affecting change in our own homes is one of “woe is me” and “no one appreciates ME”?

We can’t, Mama’s. We just can’t.

True leadership – good leadership – is where you inspire your followers, give them autonomy and empowerment, give them guidance and do not rule with an iron thumb.

In short, good leaders are leaders of the Biblical sort: they lead with a servant heart.

A Servant’s Heart.

A servant’s heart is guided by Agape Love. A love that is not self-seeking; a love that seeks only the well-being of others – even if they loathe the very ground you walk upon.

Which, let’s face it, is really hard to do.

(Which is why we all whine so much.)

Mama’s, I’m just as guilty of this as any other Mama out there! And we all need to stop.

We need to take back our power. We need to reclaim our authority. We need to stop worrying about “what’s in it for me” and lamenting the lack of “_____ for myself”.

Whether you chose to become a mother or were surprised into motherhood, we are all Mother’s, and we have a responsibility to our children – and to the world at large – to be the best Mothers’ we can be.

That’s where definition #2 comes in: a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle.

There are ways to sacrifice your life without actually dying. Even better, whether we whine about it or not, all Mama’s sacrifice their lives anyway! It’s about giving up things that matter to you (the sacrifice) for the sake of your children (the principle).

• Do any of us really relish the idea of doing 1-2 loads of laundry every day for 18 years?
• Do any of us really love going to kids movies in the theater instead of the newest chick flick (or, for me, the latest action movie)?
• Do any of us really love sharing our bed with cover-hogging children because they had a nightmare?
• Do any of us really enjoy having to plan meals in order to fit into a budget and feed those growing bodies instead of just ordering out or going hungry because we’re tired?
• Do any of us really love smelling like spit-up and poop?
• Do any of us think wiping baby butts and/or cleaning up potty training accidents is fun?
• Do any of us really like giving up spa days or date nights because of finances or lack of childcare?

Yeah, I think not. But we already do those things, don’t we?  So let’s fix our attitude to go along with our actions.

We’re Mama’s. We sacrifice.

Let’s do it willingly and cheerfully!

Let’s rock those cradles and rule the world by being cheerful, selfless, loving and kind. Let’s show our children the benefit to having a Servant’s Heart. Let’s teach our children that it’s not “all about me” – or “all about them”.

Because this Motherhood gig? It is hard. It is relentless. It is overwhelming at times. It is often unappreciated. And that, dear Mama’s? Isn’t going to change.

But we can ENJOY being Mama’s a whole lot more if we have the right attitude about it.

I’m tired of fighting to not get sucked into the “whine-fest” of so many blogs, Facebook posts, and in-person rants.

I chose to become a mother. I chose to have children. But even if I hadn’t, I HAVE children and I AM a mother. And I would love them just as much as I do had they been a surprise.

So I’m shouting it from the rooftops – and I hope you’ll join me:

I LOVE MY KIDS!
I LOVE BEING A MOM!
I DON’T CARE IF I DON’T GET TO READ A BOOK COVER TO COVER IN ONE SITTING FOR ANOTHER DECADE!
I DON’T CARE IF I’LL HAVE COMPANY WHILE I PEE FOR THE NEXT 5 YEARS!

BECAUSE I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE THAT I AM WILLING AND HAPPY TO SACRIFICE SOME THINGS TO HONOR.

(OK, shouting over. You can sit down now.)

Besides, it’s not like we don’t get anything out of all this sacrifice.

It would not have been my first choice to put Jed into speech therapy. No one likes to think their child needs that sort of help, for starters, and it’s an awful lot of effort to get us into town twice a week for his sessions.

But I did it for him. FOR HIM. So he wouldn’t struggle. So he could express the humorous and beautiful thoughts in his head with ease.

So, it was a sacrifice.

But do you know what I got for Mother’s Day this morning?

Jed, running up to me, a huge smile on his face, wrapping me in a full-body-knockdown hug, shouting “Happy Mom Day!”

And that was the best gift I could have ever gotten.

__________

So this Mother’s Day, I’d like to start something new. Leave a comment here, or on Facebook, telling us what you love best about being a Mama. Tell us how you keep a Servant’s Heart when you’re raising your children. Tell us about a sacrifice that was worth it – what it did to help your child, and what YOU got out of it.

Let’s turn this cultural attitude of “pissing and moaning” on its’ ear and tell the world what we LOVE about being MOM’s!

Share this post with anyone you can think of to let them know: it’s okay to sacrifice willingly. It’s okay to be a cheerful Mom. It’s okay to love being a Mom more than you love peeing in private! Let them know that as Mom’s, they RULE THE WORLD!!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!