You know the old saying “Two steps forward, one step back”?
I wish we were so lucky. For us, it’s more like “one step forward, one step back”.
Okay, occasionally we just have to step to the side, but still. It’s not exactly the forward momentum we prefer, even when we get to occasionally step forward.
Last week we felt pretty hopeful in our house, but then things went a little awry.
For starters, Jed.
Ah, Jed.
Though we spent all of last week eating completely safely for him and his Meanies went away, he behaved horribly the entire time.
Remember when I wrote about FPIES baby versus Normal Baby issues? The same theory applies to Jed: is it a Meanie thing or a normal 4 year old thing?
At first I wondered if maybe Jed had picked up bad habits from having the Meanies for a week. Then I wondered if maybe he was trying to figure out if he could get away with bad behavior if we *thought* he had the Meanies.
Then I thought about the things he did this week.
- One morning he got down the tempura paints without asking and he and Zac made a huge mess before I found them. We had a discussion about asking permission to use messy art supplies.
- Another night he got down a different paint set without asking. He got blue paint on one of my tan couch cushions while he was playing. We had a discussion about not taking Mommy’s couch cushions out of the living room.
- He decided to heat up some food for himself and used the microwave all by himself. He turned the food into a charcoal briquette, melted the cover, and broke the glass bowl. We had a discussion about asking for help when using the microwave.
- He put on his hat and shoes and went outside to play without asking permission. Since it was almost freezing outside, he came back in pretty quickly, and we had a discussion about not going outside without telling Mommy or Daddy first.
- He has started unstrapping himself from his car seat and opening the car door! We’ve had many discussions about car safety and staying buckled in until an adult says he can get out.
After considering his actions, I came to the conclusion that Jed is simply going through a large independent streak. He’s trying desperately to assert his independence from me and his Daddy, and tripping over his own feet with each attempt.
Consequently he gets in trouble, and gets more frustrated at his actual dependence.
Darrel and I will have to figure out how to grant Jed more independence within structural boundaries, and hopefully that will help fix some of these crazy-making behaviors.
Zac, meanwhile, was doing beautifully. We were all set to begin a new food trial.
Then, he gave us two things to worry about.
It started two Thursdays ago when he complained that it hurt to go pee-pee. The second time he did it, he could hardly walk and was crying. I called the doctor and she wanted to see him right away.
It took until Monday to get an actual urine sample from him, and I took it to the doctor to be tested for an infection. Nope. No infection.
Strange.
Then, last Wednesday, he absolutely fought every diaper change I tried to give him…and while I’ll spare you the long, convoluted ‘conversation’ we had, the gist of it is that his penis wasn’t the source of the pain. Nope, it was his testicles.
Another call to the doctor, and again she wanted to see him right away. So off to the doctor we went again.
While I waited for the call back from the doctor, I looked for some general explanations for why his testicles might hurt. It seems like there are 4 possible explanations:
- he’s discovered his penis and is freaked out by the, um, sensations boys have
- a hernia
- testicular torsion
- testicular cancer
Obviously, I was hoping for options #1 or #2; #3 at the worst.
However, the doctor didn’t find any hernias, and didn’t see any obvious signs of testicular torsion. Now we wait for another week or two and see if he’s still complaining of pain. If he is, she’ll do an ultrasound. If he isn’t, then he probably just “discovered he has a penis”.
Waiting is not my favorite thing to do.
While all this was going on, he started up with the bad diapers. For almost a week now he has had nothing but loose, sometimes diarrhea diapers that smell foul.
No allergy ring, no acidic diaper rashes, no other symptoms at all. Just the bad diapers.
At this point it’s clear something isn’t right.
Maybe his whole “testicles/penis hurting” is actually just an indication he has pain in his lower body, and is confusing the location of the pain.
Or it could be the tail end of teething causing his bad diapers, and he actually is having a problem with his genitals.
But we’re leaning towards it being a reaction to the new goat milk.
I wrote a while ago about how we didn’t have enough goat milk to last the winter. Well, our stash finally ran out and we had to go buy milk from the new goat milk lady 3 hours away.
Darrel picked up the new milk on January 17th, and within two days that was all the milk the boys drank.
On the 23rd Zac first complained of penis pain. The next Tuesday, the 28th, he started having nasty diapers.
When I called the new goat lady, we talked about goat feeding and handling, and her feeding and handling practices sounded just like what our current, local goat lady does.
However, she puts her milk in plastic milk jugs. Our local goat lady used glass jars or empty Crystal Geyser water bottles that we provided her.
We’ve since given the long-distance goat milk lady some Crystal Geyser water bottles, but we didn’t have any of her milk in those until yesterday.
So now we wait and see. Yesterday at 1:00 a.m. Zac drank the first of the milk from the Crystal Geyser bottles. The rest of the day he had really excellent looking, normal poops.
Mystery reactions and mystery clear-ups are just so…mysterious! We hope he continues to have normal poops and stops complaining of pain in his privates, so we can go on with our next food trial.
But seriously. Both boys suddenly going from excellent to “what the what?” in a moment is not much fun.
Because it’s been a mildly stressful week, I need a little reminder that my boys aren’t all mischief and mayhem. So here are a few cute moments from the last week that help make the first-ever gray hair I yanked out of my head two days ago all worth while!
I gave Jed a hair cut. He looks like such a little man when he gets his hair trimmed!
We tagged along with my parents to a Sam’s Club shopping trip to pick up some prosciutto for Jed (since bacon is “Meanie bacon” to Jed now), and the boys had a great time in the store.
First, they decided to ride under the cart.
I make the kids put their hands in their pockets after I wash their hands in public bathrooms so they don’t touch anything until we get out of the toilet area. Zac couldn’t get his hands out of his pockets when we left and made funny faces until he could! Plus, he just looks adorable with his little hands in his pockets!
Jed asked for some raspberries, which he can tolerate, so I grabbed a container for him. He stuck raspberries on the ends of his fingers and said “Mommy! Look! I’m a Berry Finger Boy!”
Jed went “shopping” at Barnes & Noble. He only wants about $500 worth of wooden trains! I made him put them all back where he got them, and we discussed how he might earn the money to buy some of them. It’s VERY cute to hear him describe how he’s going to “bring his piggy bank to Barnes & Noble and put the money in the toy” so he can bring it home!
No photos for this one, but it melts my heart. Last night on the phone Jed told me he loved me without any prompting, and Zac said “Bye bye Mama” at the end of the phone call. Aw…
They are really good kiddos. They’re just also really good at making me crazy!
Hopefully Jed begins behaving better the next few days, and Zac continues to have good poops and stops complaining about mystery pain. It would be nice to be able to take a step forward again.
Ah, motherhood. It’s not for the faint of heart!
How do you give your small child a sense of independence within boundaries?
